


Venom Writes Erotica (aka an alien's attempt at understanding human mating)

by Artaihpan



Series: Venom learns Human Culture [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Other, aliens trying to understand alien culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:56:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artaihpan/pseuds/Artaihpan
Summary: Venom tries to write human fan fiction with varying levels of success.
Relationships: Eddie Brock & Venom Symbiote, Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote
Series: Venom learns Human Culture [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129907
Comments: 12
Kudos: 75





	Venom Writes Erotica (aka an alien's attempt at understanding human mating)

**Author's Note:**

> idk i just wanted to write humans from an outside perspective. i just want venom 2 to come out soon.
> 
> this hasn't been betaed, so please excuse errors.

" _The larger primate brings a hand to its partner's face, gently stroking the cheek. Its face turns red as blood rushes in. The pair leans in close as they open their gaping food maw wide and smush their muscled appendages against each other. Sight orbs slowly close as their membranes prevent light from shining through. They spend the next minutes in silence, enjoying the soft sensations and noise._

_Finally the couple decide it is time. The smaller of the two swings a leg up to straddle the taller one. It moans loudly as it places both hands on the firm torso for support. Then-"_

"V? What are you doing at this time of night?" Eddie asks groggily, the glare from the laptop's light waking him up.

" **Nothing.** " the symbiote responds as it continues typing. The human leans in and squints at the screen.

"Geez, where have you been getting all this crap? This looks like someone pretending to be human and failing."

" **Documentaries and the internet.** " the alien said proudly. Eddie winces.

"What, the nature documentaries you've been watching on late night shows?"

" **Of course.** "

"You do realise that the internet isn't very reliable, right?"

" **Better than your second rate memories.** "

"Ouch. Why are you writing this anyways?"

" **Money. Your backwards race is completely obsessed with the idea of useless currency. And you don't feed me enough. So I'm doing a 'job' and pursuing a 'career' in literature.** " 

"Touché. Well I'm not sure who would want to read something as awkward and stilted as this. Maybe you can make your own genre. Humancore. How does that sound?"

" **Fuck you.** "

"Are you volunteering?"

" **Might as well. First hand research and all that junk. You 'journalists' and your 'primary source material'.** "

"Aww, you're learning! I'm so proud of you!"

" **Shut it and lie down, human.** "


End file.
